Babysteps... Again...

Okay. I'm doing the babysteps again. I started on the 1st of November, a monday. Last week I did dishes . . . 2 times? Yeah, slow start. I'm not giving up. I've stuck my routines in phone in a way I'm finally satisfied.

The big thing this week is that I have been really beating myself up. My son is struggling in school & all the problems he's struggling with are my own problems. How do I help him, when I haven't been able to help myself for any length of time? I even mentioned it to my husband and, he agreed - that I have the same faults at least. Let me tell you I was under a severe case of the dismals.

And I've been ignoring God. And knowing I was doing it. Just another reason to beat myself up over.

Well that's done. Friday's babystep (#5) was to write down all the negative voices and change them to positive. I'm doing that now (yes, it's Sunday night now, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it!)

I'm hopeless. ---> I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I'm lazy. ---> I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I procrastinate all the time. ---> I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens me.
I'm absent minded. ---> Hmmm, the past one doesn't seem to fit... what does? Hmmm. Maybe it's not a crime. God loves me just the way I am.

The big thing is: God loves me. He has always loved me. He will always love me. He will not give up on me, so I should not give up on myself. He does not berate me for falling, and does not want me to berate myself for it either. He is there with me, helping me, ever step of my life.

Tonight I went through my complete before bed routine. I am very proud of myself. Okay, I'm more satisfied with myself then proud, but I think that's okay. I don't need to be "proud", I want to be satisfied, happy, content.

Another thing. I found out about this thing called #hellomornings. It's all about learning to maximize your mornings, getting up earlier & starting your day off on the right foot. I have always wanted to be a morning person. I am very commited to doing this. Which means I need to get to bed. I need to bring this to an end for tonight. Thank you Lord for all you have done & will do for me. You are Great indeed!