Today I chose to wallow in misery. The only nice thing I can say about myself is I think I was careful not to take it out on anybody, including my kids, coworkers or husband. I woke up still injured from yesterday between my husband and my coworkers. I did not want to face the day, but face the day I did.
This morning I got up for God, because I surely wanted to stay in bed all day.
I wanted to say mean and spiteful things to my coworkers to let them know exactly how injured I felt by there "comments" yesterday during the office meeting. I almost wanted to tell my husband not to bother to come home since obviously shooting a deer that is not going to happen is more important then being a productive member of this household.
I did not do any of these things. I was pleasant and receptive to my coworkers and when my husband called to say he was coming home I said "Ok".
I cried on the way to work and on the way home, but I did not cry at work which is a blessing. I do not believe I took any of my miserableness out on the kids at all either, something to be thankful for.
I really hate it when other people take their bad mood out on others, so I couldn't really do it myself coud I?
I still don't feel ready to be over it, but I really need to be. There is nothing more to be done about it. I am only torturing myself and will end up hurting people I do not mean to hurt.
I should go to bed. A good night sleep might help. I want to move my clock back a little bit more tonight. I actually read 2-3 chapters in my Bible this morning. I need to get up early enought to include exercise & worship time also. I really am afraid I might have to get up as early as 5am to get all of that done before I need to go to work, but we'll see, adjustments can always be made.
Good night. Blessing on you all. God loves you.
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