So today, on the way to work I got a flat tire. I was between towns so had no idea who to call to help, so I said a pray asking God to give me the strength to change it myself. I did, and was pretty proud of myself. Little did I know that was going to be the best part of my day. Yes it went downhill from there.
My husband is on a hunting trip. He left Friday evening, and was hoping to be home by this evening so he could go to my best friend's birthday dinner (I was unavailable to go because Wednesday I have an AWANA commitment.) I always knew that there was the possibility that he would stay past today, but I don't think I really acknowledged it. I had myself prepared to do without him till today and that was fine. Well, he hasn't shot a deer yet so he's not coming home yet. I'm crushed. I miss him so much! Yes there are things I would like him to help me with that I would rather not wait (like get my tire fixed because driving on a donut spare is a pain) but I would rather have him home then have those things done. But he's not coming home. Maybe he can try to be home Friday. I don't think that he realizes that us not seeing him for a week is a big deal to us.
Today at work we had our monthly operations meeting. Normally I enjoy these meetings. Little did I know going into today's meeting was that my coworkers had been saving up to address what I was not doing or not doing right. One of my coworkers will be gone January & February on maternity leave and we will all be pitching in to cover. This is a position I stepped down from 4-5 years ago because I couldn't stand it anymore, & have had very little to do with it for the past 3 years when the most recent replacement was hired. Not to mention that she does things completely different form how I used to do them. I have no problem that she does them differently but she and the other assistant seem to just assume that I should know how things are done now. I've been out of the loop for 3+ years. Basically I was just going to pick up and do things the way I used to do them in January, but it turns out that's not good enough. I should have been more worried, proactive, I don't know. The long and short of it was the meeting felt very much like attack Corena day and was not enjoyable. The other gal was upset that I gave her a message of something I could have done myself for a client I was unfamiliar with, I said she could have given it back to me and told me I could go ahead and process it. After the meeting she came to me and said that yes she could have but she figured she had it so she might as well process it and make it an issue to address in the meeting. Gee, thanks. It was one of those days I would have quit if I didn't need that job. But I do, so I didn't. And it's probably not worth saying anything, because it's "my" problem not theirs. But there is some positive actions I can take and will do them tomorrow that have nothing to do with hurt feelings or pointing fingers. I'd rather take the positive actions than trying to have people acknowledge... whatever.
The meeting ran 40min past the end of my work day, but since I was 30min late because of the flat tire, that didn't seem like such a big deal. Except that I was planning on doing my grocery shopping after work today and just didn't have time for it then.
My son forgot a book at school so I had to take him back to get it.
Nothing had gone right today so I really was not looking forward to going to AWANA where I am the secretary. Who knew what could go wrong tonight. But the worst that happened was I couldn't find my uniform shirt because it was lost in the laundry somewhere & I didn't get there as early as I would have because I dozed off & the kids weren't watching the time to wake me up. Neither of those things were the end of the world though and the evening went fine.
My husband called before I had left. He "offered" to come home tonight if that's what I wanted. I told him I didn't know how to answer that question because regardless of that answer someone would lose. If he came home his opportunity to get a deer would end and if he stays I have to deal with all these bad feelings myself. As I sit here tears are rolling down my cheeks and I don't know how to feel better about any of it.
I did do most of my before bed routine, I didn't do a 2min hotspot, but I did dishes & shined my sink, I took off my makeup & put my jewelry away & picked out my clothes for tomorrow. I'm not going to beat myself up over that 2min hotspot (or the 15min of decluttering I was supposed to do this afternoon - that can start tomorrow.)
I should go to bed. This day just needs to end. But I have one thing I want to end with. It uses language I usually try to avoid, especially in the written word, but today just seems to call for it. I refrained from texting it to my husband this afternoon, but did end up tweeting it.
Today was the suckiest day that ever sucked.
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