A New Beginning. Again. And Again. And again, and again, and again…

Thank you God that I can begin again. And again. And yet again! I'm afraid I've used my increased work hours as an excuse to not try the last two months.

I feel very ashamed. An extra 10hrs a week, 8hrs/day instead of my normal 6hrs/day, and I barely coped at home. Everything overwhelmed me. I fell apart. I didn't trust God to help me. That's the bottom line. I made everything rest on me, instead of God. How egotistical!

It's Sunday night & I go back to my 6hr/day schedule on Tuesday. ( only 1 more day of working 8hrs.) & I've recently become afraid that everything will NOT be okay starting Tuesday as I have been counting on the past two months. I think its because I finally accepted that the problem has not been the number of hours/day that I've been working outside the home… the problem has been my rejection of God. Something that has nothing to do with Tuesday.

Now what?

I have to turn my face back to God.

I need to trust him.

I need to focus on him.

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. Thank you for making me whole again through Christ's death & resurrection. Thank you for your unfailing love & grace. Thank you for accepting me back in your arms everytime I throw a childish fit & try to insist on having my own way. Thank You for helping me learn & grow.

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